by Shannon Hardwick
I was in the corner, watching him.
It’s not like we go and socialize.
It will be easier in a couple years—
I’m very worried about her.
It was that summer they shared the house. I never told you about that?
He says to me: So, you still living up in Connecticut?
And I was like,
He says, Are you still happy there?
And you know what I said to him? I said,
My house is bigger than yours
(I was kind of drunk that night)
I hate him. I really hate him. I swear.
He’s setting himself up for politics. Ugh.
He would verbally abuse his wife in front of us, at parties and I felt so uncomfortable. He was so verbally abusive.
And like, her father, his wife’s father, he was very ill and he died. And she called me and asked if we could watch her kids. And I had five kids at my house! It was not an easy task and he did nothing!
And we decided to move, we, you know, we did…
It was a huge mistake.
I hate him.
I wish him ill and I don’t wish that on anyone.
Wait, who were the neighbors I met?
Um, Connie and Bill—across the street from the Garrons—our kids played together, went to ballet and everything!
You know, like things couldn’t be better for us in Connecticut, it’s our dream home.
...I have to support my mother, you know what I mean?
...I was crying, Why are you telling this to me….while I’m drinking shots!
She wanted to buy a house, stay home, have kids, but she was like, 25 years old. She should be enjoying herself!
Did you have a different picture of how it would turn out?
Totally. We all did. But you have to respect people’s choices. I mean, here I am in my breeches on the train!
I remember thinking, she’s turning 40!
She worships her, she does, because her husband makes so much money
Yeah, well, you know, she’s just….
She’s a princess! I know!
She said to me, No one called me to say congratulations on your pregnancy—I, I was on BEDREST!
I mean, I never say anything bad about anyone!
I mean, I wanna go to Vegas when I turn 40!
Ha, but who knows, we may be living with my mother by then, you never know. This is a bad year for us.
Oh, don’t say that!
I may have to sell my aquarium!
Aww, I love your fish!
They each have their own tank—the kids just love it!
I changed the water on Saturday. Some of the real colorful ones died. Mary said, Do you think dad poisoned them? I said, Mary, no! Don’t say things like that!
She’s only eight years old! Where does this come from?!
The nanny isn’t helping you Easter weekend?
Yeah. Well, the kids are in middle school, so they don’t get home until 3:15.
Who walks your dog?
Um, my mother. I’ll walk them on some weekends because I like it, you know. But I’m usually not at home.
I wake up at 4:30.
John says, You’ve got bags under your eyes
And I’m like, Thank you! I love you, too!
Well, my first class is at 7:30 and I have to set up beforehand.
The kids are so funny. I said to them,
There’s this little girl, she wrote:
Cells are parts of our bodies.
There’s blood cells,
But sperm cells are only in boys
And she just went on and on.
Those kids, they just are something else.